Effortless Expansion Episode #012: What To Do If Your Partner Isn't Spiritual

If you’re a woman on her spiritual journey, you probably have a desire for your partner to be spiritual, too, or at least I did. Spirituality has changed my entire life, so of course, I want my partner to experience that as well. But I found myself thinking, “Nick just isn’t as spiritual as me…”

My husband is incredible and I can talk to him about anything, so when I brought this up (my desire for him to get “more spiritual”) he gave me an answer that I didn’t think I wanted to hear at the time, but was exactly what I needed.

He said, “Jess, this is my life and MY journey.”

That’s when the epiphany hit me.

I don't know who I am, or who I think I am, to be judging him on his spiritual journey.

The truth is, I'm on my journey and he's on his and if I were coaching myself, that's exactly what I'd be telling myself. That's exactly what I'd tell my clients.

This lead us to have some hard conversations about expectations, but y'all know I'm here for the hard conversations.

I'm here for the messy, the ugly, the growth, the expansion, the fun, the love, the joy, the pleasure, the disappointment, the sadness, the anger. I'm here for all of it.

In that moment I realized that I came to Nick in a place of lack.

It turns out that my desire for him to go deeper on his journey was actually a reflection of me wanting to deepen my spiritual connection.

It was my desire to go bigger in my ascension and in my sacred spaces with my coaching clients.

I wanted more and I was projecting it on to him.

This limiting belief had been so beautifully camouflaged that I didn’t see it for a while.

This is vulnerable AF for me to share but I want you to know about these things and I want to be vulnerable with you in my expansion journey. I want to help you collapse time on your journey so you can learn these lessons faster than I did.

Looking back, I didn't give myself the space to feel the feelings behind the lack mindset I was in. Instead, I went into fix it mode and the fix it mode doesn't necessarily include fixing myself.

Luckily my husband who understands me knows that this is my pattern and can lovingly call me out on it. When I came to him and said, I desire you to be more spiritual and it looks like X, Y, Z. He said to me, okay, well, I thought it's my spiritual journey, not yours. To which point I said, you're right and I'm just feeling a little disconnected.

This led into a heartfelt conversation about expectations moving forward that were really, really good.

I am so grateful for this lesson that helped me to realize that I was subconsciously looking at Nick as less than me because he is less spiritual than me and that is so far from the truth.

So if this is you, if you're listening and your partner's not as spiritual as you, what I want to tell you is see them as an equal.

I love Nick more than anything, he's my partner in life. Why would I think I'm better than him and why would I think I'm in charge of his spiritual journey?

I'm in charge of me, and me only.
My energy.
My spiritual journey.
The food I put in my body.
The work that I do on my body.
The work that I do in my business.
Me, not anybody else.

And oftentimes we think that because our partners aren't on the same level as us, there's this misconception that it means our relationship isn't as strong as it could be, or it won't work.

I want to invite you to see it differently.

Tune in to this episode to learn how.

If all of this is music to your ears and you want to dive deeper into taking control of your time and your life, I want to formally invite you into my upcoming program.

Together, we're going to call out and deactivate the unwritten rules you've been living by and activate new ways of being that actually support your limitless life.

You’ll get really clear on what’s been keeping you stuck and trust me, you won’t be able to unsee it, you’ll be forever changed.

This is a 5 day live experience with me + the limitless women I’m calling in to join us.

The woman who enters this vortex is going to get clear on what's been holding her back, keeping her small, and creating an illusion of confusion in her life.

The part of you that is bold, loud, and knows exactly what she wants is deep down inside of you and she is ready to run the show.

Inside of this program, you will unleash your inner Unruly Woman and walk alongside other women just like you.

Imagine being set free, to finally be able to release the weight of other’s expectations that have been heavy on your shoulders for much too long.

Imagine feeling the fire of desire in your soul and being ridiculously confident about going out and making it happen. You boldly go after what YOU WANT, not what your friends, spouse, or society thinks you should want and you do it in such a way that allows others to do the same.

If you are willing to put in the work, you will not have to only imagine feeling like this, it will be your new reality.

I invite you to join me to claim your unruliness and step into your true self. It’s time to remember who you are and who you came here to be. Together, let's bring her out.

October 24-28th @ 7:33pm EST