Effortless Expansion Episode #019: 3 Ways To Spice Up Your Marriage
You may be thinking, "Wow, Jess, marriage? This isn't really your topic..." But let me tell you, it is because I am committed to serve your effortless expansion always in all ways.
I feel called to speak on this topic for many reasons but the biggest reason is because my marriage has undergone a complete transformation. A little over 3 years ago my marriage almost came to a screeching halt. We were faced with the serious question if we wanted to stay married and work on ourselves or not.
You can guess by now, that we chose to work it out, thank goodness. I couldn't imagine it any other way.
We got serious about doing the work, began seeing a marriage counselor, and implementing simple and effective ways to rebuild our once thriving marriage.
I've picked out the most effective and tangible tips and I want to share them with you here. I go in to much deeper detail on the podcast, so be sure to check that out also.
#1: Do different.
It's so easy to get stuck in a pattern, a way of thinking, or a routine. When this happens life can get monotonous and the magic goes away. My biggest tip is to do different.
Act different. Be different. Dress different.
This can be simple. For example, if you normally pick up the kids from school and your husband usually cooks dinner, can you switch roles for a day? Can you cook dinner together instead? Switch it up.
When you break out of the routine (aka the subconscious mind) you will begin to become very aware of things that you may have been numb to like your own feelings, your partner's feelings, etc.
Switching it up also creates a new level of excitement on the day to day. It sounds simple, but trust me it works.
#2: Go on a date
Oh man, I freaking love a good date. And it doesn't necessarily matter to me if I plan it or Nick does. I mean, I love it when he plans dates for me, even when I know that they're happening because I love to be surprised.
So many people are like, "But I work all day, I don't wanna leave my kids again".
Okay, well... your marriage is a priority too. You can get a babysitter for ONE night. When our kids were really little, we used to get a babysitter after they were in bed. Some way, some how I know you can make it work. Go on the date, your kids will be fine!!
Don't go out in your work clothes, stressed about work and spend the entire time on your phone. I'm talking put a dress on, put some lipstick on, or dress up in the way that makes you feel like the powerful and beautiful woman that you are. Remember, if you want different in your marriage, you do different too. It will be worth every second.
Seriously, touch each other. When Nick and I were really going through it, I realized we didn't really even touch each other any more.
I love and crave physical touch and attention, it's one of my love languages.
I knew that I also wasn't giving the physical affection I wanted myself so that's where I began. I started touching Nick throughout the day. Nothing crazy but I would touch his hand, rub his back, touch his hair. I even set a reminder on my phone to do this at first so I wouldn't forget.
The craziest part? It started freaking working. I couldn't believe it. He was giving me the affection I so longed for and all I did was give it to him first.
What physical touch does is it allows it us to bring ourselves together, allows our energies to touch, to feel held, to feel seen, to feel loved, to feel held, to feel supported, to be in this marriage.
Touch, touch, touch. Even if it isn't one of your love languages, this is a game changer.
I would invite you to know your love languages if you don't know them. Here is a link to the quiz (click here).
Those are three ways to spice up your marriage. I want this to serve you so well. I want you to have the marriage of your dreams because you are so worthy of it.
I am living the marriage that I've always desired and I never knew I could have it in this way. I'm so grateful we put in the work and I want you to experience anything and everything you want to in your marriage as well. I hope this serves you.
Last thing-- it's not too late to jump into Big. Bold. Brave. Catch the replays of this powerful event, it's free!